Flying isn’t known as the most comfortable method of transportation available. Sure, you’ll get a few free snacks here and there—don’t even get us started on those—and a beautiful view if you paid extra for a window seat. However, unless you’re accompanied by someone else, there’s nothing more uncomfortable than having to share your personal space with a complete stranger for up to hours on end.
There’s no limit to the things that can go wrong in such a scenario, which is why we’ll be covering all the best ways to annoy the passenger next to you on a flight.
Take Your Time
Punctuality—who needs it? Go ahead and stop at every food court you see on the way to your terminal, or take an extra thirty minutes to flip through some novels at the airport bookstore. In fact, don’t even show up to your terminal until the entire airport staff is looking for you. As a bonus, your neighboring passenger won’t be the only one annoyed with you—the whole plane will!
Adjust Your Airflow
Planes can easily get overheated, especially with all those passengers on board. Take matters into your own hands, and twist every air vent above your seat until they’re blowing on you—not your neighbor. Go a step further, and do the same with the air vents from the rows in front of you and behind you. That way, you won’t ever have to complain about a stuffy cabin again! Your neighbors might, though…
Bring A Child
There’s no creature on the planet who understands the art of disruption better than a small child. To maximize your annoyance potential, ask a friend to borrow their child for your trip—or bring your own—and witness their talents unfold. From screaming at the top of their lungs for no discernable reason to treating the seat in front of you as if it was a soccer ball, a child is the ultimate annoying weapon.
Better out than in, right? If you wish to annoy nearly everyone on your flight, you can easily create a gassy situation by consuming a can of beans right before your trip. As soon as you feel those air biscuits arise, go ahead and let them out without hesitation. Maybe you’ll even end up improving the air circulation!
Lean Back and Relax
Possibly the most heinous of airplane crimes involves reclining your seat into the passenger behind you. While you’re likely to receive more than a few glares and grumbles, this trip is ultimately about you, right? You have no reason to care what these strangers think, so go ahead and lean back as far as you like, for as long as you like.
When it comes to annoying your neighboring airplane passengers, don’t forget to utilize some of the tips mentioned above for ultimate execution. But, before you do, please make sure we’re not any of those neighbors.